To The One Year Old Hadley Willow

Dear The ONE year old Hadley Willow,

You are one today & it gives me goosebumps saying it. It feels like yesterday I was anticipating the day you would be earth side. I was so scared, I had no idea what to expect. The days leading up to your arrival were filled with daydreaming about what you would look like, what would motherhood be like, how would labor feel, would I be a good mom, how was I going to know what to do. I could go on forever about all the things I thought about, read about, talked about. I would sit for hours and watch my belly move like crazy as you moved around inside. It was magical. Now here we are a year later and I'm watching you use those same feet I felt inside my belly take their first steps & it's just as magical. This year has been indescribable, the absolute best one of my life.

The love I have for you I have never felt in my life, It's overwhelming in the best way.

You my dear I would do anything for. Somehow, some way I love you more with each passing day. You have filled a place in my heart that I never even knew existed. You changed me Hadley, completely changed me. 

I am a better person because of you, I am a mom because of you. 

As you have learned new things month to month, I have also learned new things. You have learned to roll over, crawl, your first words, to stand, take steps, feed yourself, drink from a straw, wave, clap, mimic sounds, giggle & so much more. I have learned to put someone elses needs so far above my own, to turn a frown upside down, to change diapers, breastfeed, function without sleep, multitask to the extreme, I've learned a ton of things, the most I've ever learned in a year. 

Most importantly I've learned that I was meant to be a mom, your mom. 

I have truly experience the most amazing thing right before my eyes. I've watched you grow from within my belly and then go from a squishy baby to a little girl. Watching you hit milestones & become your own tiny person has been such a blessing & I'm so proud. 

This year has been full of the most precious moments.

 I started out this year smothering you with hugs and kisses and now I'm ending it getting hugs and kisses from you. As we all stood around you singing Happy Birthday at your party I was flooded with emotions. Even thinking of it right now as I write this gives me tears. I couldn't help but get choked up watching you look at us all with your big brown eyes with your own little cake infront of you.

( you were definitely a little horrified, maybe it was all the people around you, maybe it was our singing) I couldn't stop thinking about the very moment you were born and placed on my chest. I witnessed a miracle right before my eyes & I witness it every single day of my life watching you grow Hadley Willow. Ive been having a hard time figuring out where to end this letter to you because I could go on forever about my first year with you. Just know there is not one thing I would change about this year, it has been pure perfection, just like YOU.  You are a dream come true & I love you more than words , to the moon and back over and over again. Happy First Birthday baby girl !

At 8:48pm on May 25. 2014 was the moment I finally saw your sweet face after carrying you within for 9 months. 

7lbs 1oz 20inches of perfection.

Taking this picture today was emotional (shocking haha everything is making me emotional about you turning you) but this is the last photo in the one year series! Each month on the 25th I made sure to capture a photo to see how much you have changed. (Although I'm pretty sure I have a picture for everyday of this year, maybe more than one) How is it that we are already at the 12th month!

Waiting to be checked out of the hospital. I was so nervous and so excited to finally start our family of 3 (4 including sisi of course) there were lots of tears shed. 

These pictures feel like they were taken yesterday.

These widdle shoes go with headband above. The set is the first thing mommy & daddy purchased for you along with a little dolly when we first found out we were having a girl ! Today a year later the shoes finally fit! 

Some things about this month ...

- 8 teeth

- her favorite word is Dada

- her favorite song is low rider (due to a stuff dog my parents own that sings and dances while playing it) Hadley sings it "do do do do do do do do do do do doooo"

- loves to dance 

- taking steps

- standing without help 

- says "what's that's" mama, dada, nana 

Sisi, elliot, hello

- loves to give kisses

- waves hello & goodbye

- loves to play

- favorite snack, white cheddar baby Cheetos 

- loves bananas 

- hates to nap, she's like the 

Energizer bunny

- loves water 

- loves to cuddle   

 

Moments captured from today 5.25.15

 

{ it's the little things }

It's been months since I've wrote a blog post. It feels like it was yesterday. This thing we call time, well I'm not really a fan of it. Last time I wrote Hadley was 3 months old, umm now she's 7 1/2 months. First off "wow I'm a slacker with this blog", second off " WTF " how is she 7 1/2 months old. 

She's my whole world, it's safe to say my obsession with her is SO real. There is nothing I dislike about being a mother, sure i wish I had more sleep but meeting her needs is more important to me than my own. Honestly, when she sleeps I miss her. Is that crazy?? Time is bittersweet, I find my self getting sad some days when I think of those first few days with our newborn. The days when being a mom was so new. The days I didn't know if she was hungry, tired or just wanted to cry. The days where she would sleep all day. Honestly I was not someone who loved pregnancy and I miss that some days. Those days feel like a total blur, I'm afraid I will forget them. I actually think that's a huge fear of mine. I try and take so many pictures to document everything. I want to remember it all. I totally slack writing in her baby book & it makes me sad. I don't know the exact date she did certain things, that also makes me sad. I drive myself crazy trying to recap the days, the moments that are so special to me. I see other moms that document each and every thing better than I do & I compare myself. "My 1st child's baby book I filled in completely, I slacked with my second" they say. Why am I so horrible with my first? I get bummed and down about it and then I take the time to realize, it's ok that I may not know exact things, or the fact that some days feel like they never existed. What is important is I was there, she was there, those moments are what makes up each hour, day, week, month of her life. Just because my mind may wander or be non existent some days (mom brain, the struggle is real) I am beyond blessed. I wasn't writing it down because I was living it. Just because those precious moments are not on paper doesn't mean they didn't happen, it just means I was enjoying them to much to take out a pen. I was enjoying them so much that I didn't want to stop that moment  and miss it to write it down. We are focused on the "milestones" the "big" steps our children take but the most important things are those little things. The little things that don't have a spot in a baby book. The moment your child grabs your face and pulls you close. The moment they are just laying in your arms content and happy. The moment they smile when you walk into a room.The moment you witness from across the room when your husband holds them close & tells them he love them. Life is about the little things & being a mother I realize that more each day.  

 

I'm not sure how much I'll write on this blog. I'm not sure if it will be daily, weekly or even monthly. Today I was inspired to write while talking to a dear friend & I'm glad I did. It's been a while & it feels great. I hope if you read this, you enjoyed it. If your someone who stresses over missing writing moments down because you want to remember everything, I hope this helps shed some light. Whether your a parent or not, we all have amazing memories we never want to forget. You were there, you lived them & your heart is the best kept journal there is.

 

My shoulder smells like spoiled milk ...

I remember when I use to rewear clothes before Hadley. Who doesn't? Your lying if you say you don't !! Or maybe I'm gross haha oh well ! Well today I played the rewear an outfit game & I realized that it wasn't the best option. Being out in public with a shoulder that smells like spoiled milk isn't very cute. Mom life , your so sexy. Honestly I'm not mad about it but motherhood definitely changes things, even simple things like that ! Or the fact that I'm writing this while breastfeeding Hadley in my car in the parking lot of the mall. Yup & I'm proud of it. It's a great feeling being able to care for my babe and watch her grow all from my body. For the 9 months I was pregnant with her & the 3 months she's been in this world my body has fueled her. Amazes me daily !! Backseat breastfeeding has become a weekly thing. When I first had her feeding her in the car felt awkward but not at all now. I don't mind one bit, it's so easy when I'm out doing errands. Boobs are magic & not in the way men think. Sorry guys! The real purpose of these bad boys are wonderful. When I put my shirt on yesterday I forgot to put breast pads on , Hadley started crying & BAM soaked shirt ! It's so wild how our bodies work !! Totally irrelavent to this post but Hadley does raspberrys now & it's prob the cutest thing everrr, she is developing such a little personality ! She smiles at people like crazy now and then gets super bashful ! Ahh I melt ! Anywho I love mom life even if I may stink or have days I look like a disaster ! Everything is worth it for this perfect tiny human !! My daughter is the perfect reason for any changes in my life , I will do anything for her !! Yay it's Friday !! Cheers to Labor Day weekend my friends !!

Raspberries !! 

My little doll rocking her mermaid attire! Outfit details in the " What Hadley Wore "

section of my blog ! 

Happy 3 Months, my darling

3 months old ! Are you kidding me? How is that possible?

It feels like it was just yesterday I woke up at 6:34 am to my first contraction. It feels like yesterday my baby girl was laid on my chest for the first time at 8:48pm. These 3 months have been the most amazing months of my life. She fills my heart with more love than I ever knew I could feel. I love seeing her grow, it's the most beautiful thing in the world. I still can't believe she's ours forever. She's changed so much in just 3 short months! Our little 7lb baby who was even less than that when we brought her home is now 14lbs. I am still successfully breastfeeding her which I am so proud of. It was a rough begining, 3 months ago I would of said I really didn't like it but it was what I wanted for my baby. Today I can tell you I absolutely love it & staying with it is the best thing I have done. I am extremely happy I was so devoted to it. She now smiles a ton, it melts my heart. She also babbles, coos & squeaks all the time. A couple times it even sounded like she said "Hi" it was to funny. If you start talking to her she will immediately look your way. She is incredibly nosey, constantly loves looking around. All she wants to do is sit up! Her new trick is holding our hands and pulling herself up. Tummy time, she hates it ! She usually flips out but we still try and squeeze it into the day! In the morning she is SO happy , it's the best way to start my day. Saying goodmorning and getting the biggest smile while she's wiggling around in her bed is priceless. At night is her cranky time, she wants her mommy. She's at the point now where she knows whose who, there's no faking her out. Bedtime has been great !! She usually wakes up twice, once after a 5-6 hour stretch and then again after 3 hours! Sometimes she will go to sleep again which is great ! Lastnight was the first time she went all night! She fell asleep at 10:00 & woke up at 6:40, then after an hour or so we both squeezed in a couple extra hours of sleep, it was great !! Baths are her favorite, she kicks her feets & splashes water all over. She actually cries when she gets taken out of the tubby, my little mermaid. Hadley is my absolute pride & joy. Being a mommy is amazing and I love every second of it , I feel so incredibly blessed! Everyday I find something new about me & her. I also love seeing my husband as a daddy, he's wonderful. I never thought it was possible to love him more until I saw him love her. Happy 3 months Hadley Willow, mommy loves you to the moon & back !! Actually probabley more ;)

"Being a Mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, it's about what you gained having one"

" First we had eachother

Then we had you

Now we have everything "

 

Homemade Strawberry Lemonade

I always come across fresh lemonade recipes on Pinterest but never make them, just drool for a moment. This week a friend of mine posted one she made & I finally decided to make one! I did a strawberry lemonade & it was the perfect refreshing beverage on this August day !! I can't wait to try making all different flavors !! It's delishhhh & super easy to make !!

You will Need

7 Lemons

1 container of stawberries

1 cup of sugar 

Water

1. Put 1 cup of water & 1 cup of sugar in a sauce pan over medium heat until sugar dissolves , stir occasionally

2. Juice 7 lemons ( mine was a little over a cup ) I don't have a juicer so I did mine by hand. 

3. Blend 1 container of strawberries with a 1/2 cup of water. 

4. Mix sugar water, lemon juice & stawberries.

5. Add 4-6 cups of water , depend on your desired sweetness !! I used 5 !! 

Serve over ice & enjoy !! 

My Whole Heart

I wanted you more

than you ever will know

so I sent love to follow

wherever you go.

It's high as you wish it. It's quick as an elf.

You'll never outgrow it...it stretches itself!

So climb any mountain...

climb up to the sky!

My love will find you.

My love can fly!

Make a big splash!  Go out on a limb!

My love will find you.  My love can swim!

It never gets lost, never fades, never ends...

if you're working...

or playing...

or sitting with friends.

You can dance 'til you're dizzy...

paint 'til you're blue...

There's no place, not one, 

that my love can't find you.

And if someday you're lonely, 

or someday you're sad, 

or you strike out at baseball, 

or think you've been bad...

just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.

That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.

In the green of the grass...in the smell of the sea...

in the clouds floating by...at the top of a tree...

in the sound crickets make at the end of the day...

"You are loved.  You are loved.  You are loved," they all say.

My love is so high, and so wide and 

so deep, it's always right there, even 

when you're asleep.

So hold your head high

and don't be afraid

to march to the front

of your own parade.

If you're still my small babe

or you're all the way grown,

my promise to you

is you're never alone.  

You are my angel, my darling, 

my star...and my love will find you, 

wherever you are.

You are loved.  

 

The most beautiful book Hadley received this weekend from friends of Nate & I ! I'm so obsessed & I totally cried reading it the first time!

Hadley Willow has captured my entire heart. Everyone is right when they say loving your child is a whole different kind of love. Everyday with her is the best day ever. I could be having a bad day and a smile from her changes it all. Although I can't consider anyday a bad day with my little babe. I still can't believe this perfect little girl is ours. She has made our little family complete. I could stare at her all day long & just admire her. Her big gummy smiles accompanied with her right cheek dimple melts me into a puddle. Hadley smiles tons now a days along with cooing & squeaking, I love it so much. Some mornings she will be in her pack in play besides our bed having the time of her life being a little chatter box. She flails her arms and legs with tons of cooing ! I love her little baby stories. It's unbelievable how quickly they grow & change. My squishy little newborn now holds her head strong, wants to sit up & has doubled in size. I held one of her newborn diapers up to her today, I swear only one butt cheek would fit now, awhhh. She is extremely nosey, she wants to look around all the time. She loves being propted up on her boppy pillow so she can sit up and enjoy her surrounding. Most nights Hadley only wakes up once & I can usually get a 5-6 hour stretch out of her !! It's wonderful having sleep back in my life even if it's still not as much as I use to have. It's all worth it to wake up to this smiling babe. I can't wait for my day to begin with her!! She's seriously the greatest ! Yesterday she had her first pool day!! My hubby & I picked up a plastic kiddie pool & she loved every second of it. I figured she would because she loves the bath. She also looked like a little doll in her pink glitter bikini & floppy hat ! I've been dying to get that bikini on her since I got it at my baby shower from one of my fab friends Kayla ! Enjoy some pictures we snapped while she was being a little fishy.
 

 

 

That smirk kills me !!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed :)

You can follow " Hello Hadley " by subscribing at the top of the page !!

-Torie xx

Back in the HAIR game

Photo by// Brittany Taylor Model// Rachel Lynch Hair// Me Makeup// Danielle Bisbano

Photo taken at The Dean Hotel, Providence RI

Jewelry// House of Cach

This week I finally got my hands back into some hair and it was fab !!! I loved every second of it !! It was the first time I left my little lady & I missed her to pieces but my hubby and my mama did a great job. As soon as I saw her I smothered her with kisses SO many kisses !! Oh & I couldn't wait to feed her. Let's talk about how I was doing a wedding party all day on Thursday ,  I went about 7 hours without breast feeding !!  I should of pumped somewhere in the middle so I didn't get engorged but for some reason I thought I was a super hero and would be fine! Needless to say I was no hero, the breast pads I wear to stop me from leaking through my shirt were swelled up about 2inches!! Oh man I was a mess but that didn't stop me from having a blast !! Mamas out there if your breastfeeding I highly recommend Lansinoh Ultra Soft Disposable Breast Pads they clearly work because I didn't spring a leak. The wedding was at a beautiful castle in Newport, RI ! Probably one of the most gorgeous places I've gone to do hair !! The place had so much character !!! The girls were an amazing bunch too. One of my favorite things about being a stylist is getting to meet so many different people. Loving these tousled beachy styles, perfect for a wedding on the water !!

Bridesmaids
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brides hair on the left , Another bridesmaid on the right

 

Yesterday I was super excited to style Rachel Lynch's hair for a shoot photographed by Brittany Taylor. Rachel also known as I Hate Blonde (@ihateblonde) a fabulous fashion blogger & model. I've been following her for a while on instagram & was so happy to have the opportunity to work with her. I absolutely LOVE doing photo shoots! It's definitely something I want to put more focus on. It's awesome seeing everything for a shoot come together & seeing my work being photographed ! It adds a different level of excitement to my career. So happy to be back in the hair game after not working for 9 months !!

Finishing touches using Hypnotik Hair - I received this product on set by the cofounder of Hypnotik Hair, It is a humidity blocker that cuts out frizz! It is absolutely amazing !! You can purchase it on Amazon. Check it out

 

 

Me, Rachel & Danielle

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Check out these lovelies on Instagram

@ihateblonde // Rachel Lynch

@Brittanny // Brittanny Taylor

@Dayzeesunshine // Danielle Bisbano

@houseofcach // House of Cach

 

 

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